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That convenience was not lost on Kelleher, who said that she thought about her future children when deciding to take her husband's last name. But for other women who decided against changing their names, keeping a separate identity from their husbands even after marriage far outweighed the annoyance of having to explain why family members had different last names. Tarampi said that another reason she did not take her husband's name was because she had already been published under her own.
While women at the time were aware of the restrictions and then rebelled against them by keeping their own names, women today are more secure with their identities and don't believe taking their husband's name will change that, said Coontz.
But despite the studies that indicate more women are taking their husband's names than aren't, women like Kelleher still didn't find that the decision to take her husband's name became a point of contention with her friends and family.
We'll notify you here with news about. Turn on desktop notifications for breaking stories about interest? Comments 0. Top Stories. There was no expiration date of coverture laws per se. Instead, the laws just sort of fell out of favor and faded away. No doubt, the suffrage movement of the late 19th and early 20th century helped contribute to its demise. It's a big decision to change your last name, even on occasion as momentous as your marriage.
Here are answers to some of the most commonly asked questions about the practice. For some, taking their husband's last name simply serves to solidify the commitment. It's a gesture that leaves no room for doubt—changing their surname after marriage shows they're all in. For others, taking their husbands' surname is more about the status of the family unit—when there is a family unit to speak of.
Having a different last name than your spouse is unlikely to confuse your children. While a shared last name may sidestep intrusive questions, research shows that having parents with different surnames rarely meddles with a child's identity.
And save for Spain and Iceland, Western Europe seems to follow the same pattern. On the other hand, in , Greece passed a Family Law Reform that required women to retain their surname after marriage and even pass it on to their children.
Additionally, the decision has been known to elicit intrusive questions and comments from friends, family, and strangers alike. When the United States Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage throughout the country in , part of the ruling allowed for same-sex partners to change their names just as opposite-sex couples do.
The cost of changing your name after marriage varies from person to person. For example, if your passport was issued within a year of your marriage, the replacement with your name change is free.
For a passport older than one year, however, there is a charge for a new issue. A new social security card, however, is free for marital name changes; just be sure to work directly with the Social Security Administration. But this particular tradition may not be right for everyone. While in earlier days, the tradition made some sense as grooms generally walked barefoot from one village to another for the wedding, in modern days with cars replacing feet and even horses, this tradition is outdated.
In Assamese tradition, it is the bride's sister who washes the groom's feet. It only seems insulting to get two adults, as old as the groom's own parents and deserving the same amount of respect, to wash the feet of the groom. Neither is the groom forced to walk barefoot anymore nor does he have to travel long distances.
Offering water or refreshing beverages makes sense but making the parents wash his feet is just plain humiliating. Also, while returning, the bride makes an equally arduous journey back home. Why don't her feet deserve the same treatment? The tradition of haldi is a beautiful one where a paste of turmeric and other spices is applied on the bodies of the bride and the groom by relatives and friends to cleanse their skin and help them grow.
The entire tradition is fun and a time of great bonding for the bride with her family. It also cherishes some of her last moments with her family as an unmarried woman. However, in certain regions, the bridal haldi ceremony can get weird. In Bengali tradition for the pre-wedding haldi, the turmeric paste carried by the groom's family for the bride is the same paste used by the groom or a paste that has touched the groom's body. Leaving the sexist aspect aside, we really wonder how hygienic this tradition is.
While it is not practised in many urban areas or among literate people the groom just touches the haldi with his hand before it is sent to the bride , the custom is followed in rural areas. In some Bengali traditions, the bride is made to sit under the elbow of the groom and water is then passed from his elbow on to her.
While this tradition is not exactly the haldi tradition and happens after the wedding, turmeric paste is often applied to both to ward off the evil eye.
This is a tradition peculiar to North India and parts of the West where the bride changes her first name as well as her last name post marriage. The new first name is calculated on her and her husband's combined astrological chart and the last name is the same as her husband's last name.
Also, the bride alters her middle name from that of her father's name to her husband's name. The practice is common not just in rural areas but even in urban areas. While a lot of women now retain their last names and add their husband's surname too, the tradition of making the bride change her first name is wrong.
A name is quite a person's identity and making them change it is akin to stripping the complete identity away. In a crazy Indian wedding custom, if the bride is Manglik, she is made to first marry a Peepal tree or a dog.
It is believed that marrying a Manglik woman results in the early death of the husband. Hence, the woman is first married to a tree or an animal to ward off the evil effects of the curse on her human husband. The husband has no such traditions to fulfill if he is Manglik. A simple religious ceremony resolves the issue. Most Indians believe in astrology and all Hindu rituals are based on astrological charts. Even the wedding is held on an auspicious day according to the positions of the stars.
However, while it is acceptable to believe in parts of astrology, such traditions are plain "stupidstition" and blind faith.
It insults the woman and are demeaning to say the least. In a strange custom in Bihar, once the bride enters the groom's house, the mother-in-law places a pot on her head. She then continues to touch the feet of the elders and do other chores with the pot on. After every 5 minutes, another pot is added to her head. The bride must not let the pots fall off and must carry on with the rituals with all the pots perfectly balanced.
This ritual is supposed to help the bride achieve the perfect balance and harmony between her duties and her family members as a wife. While played in fun in recent years, during the earlier days, if the bride couldn't balance the pots, she faced much ridicule and wrath from her in-laws.
All this, just after she sets foot in the house! As strange as it sounds, in Bengali weddings, the bride's mother is not allowed to see the wedding.
It is believed that the mother witnessing the wedding will bring harm on her daughter. Or the mother possesses the evil eye to harm her daughter's marriage. We have nothing to say on just how wrong and terrible this tradition seems!
In Rabha weddings in Assam, the bride is expected to cook a complete luncheon on her first day. While in most other religions, the bride is expected to only cook sweets on the first day and then rest till her ' mehendi ' wears off, this tribe makes the bride work right from day one. While cooking a meal is considered one of the duties of a new bride and is not surprising, what is is the fact that the meal cannot be eaten by all family members.
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