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All the happiness that you felt when you were with him? You can get back to happiness again and you WILL. You need to break up with your projections. This process pedestals him as you sink lower and lower into the quicksand of avoidance and denial.
Think about it — the reason that you continued to stay in the relationship with him is because you chose to tolerate his consistent inconsistency we get what we tolerate , and give life to an idea; a projection of who your heart NEEDED him to be. If your ex was the type of person that your projections have convinced you he is, he would have found a way to exit your relationship without the abundance of bs and the lack of decency. Instead of convincing yourself that you were just this launching pad, this northern star for him that has pointed him in the direction of emotional, sexual, and relational prosperity, I want you to entertain this….
Maybe you were meant to be his karma and he was meant to be your northern star. Thank YOU for your love, connection, support, and for being a part of this tribe. This is perhaps the best article I have ever read. You managed to tackle the root cause and portrayed it in such a understandable way. Very proud of you and your confidence to project your mind. Your emotional intelligence is brilliant. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for taking the time to reach out and for being a part of this tribe.
I live to give everything I wish I had. You are loved, believed in, understood, supported, and never, EVER alone. So happy that the posts have helped! Natasha Love you!!!! The white horse and your advice has kept me from reaching out to him since last June even tho he changed his number I know if I wanted to I could have emailed him.
I am healing. Thank you for being you. You are incredible Much love and hope your day is bright and inspirational — Your friend and sister Lynn. This is exactly what I needed! Not sure why we always think we can change them! This piece came to my inbox as I had just given my most recent emotionally unaivalabke manipulator the final good bye, good riddance he needed.
Came on strong, then slowly retreated to basically becoming non existent — no explanation, no accountability. Thanks for your writings I came across your site at a really appropriate time and am thoroughly enjoying it! Wow this was amazing and exactly what I needed to read today!
I just need to keep reminding myself about the white horse. Thank you so much! I really want to ride away on the white horse. He says he hates the person he is right now and is trying to turn to God.
But the last thing I said to him was kind of nasty. He sincerely seemed apologetic and then said I have the right to not talk to him for the rest of my life. We were friends before and I truly do see the good in him it just stinks that he never even tried.
Your posts always give me that dose of reality! There are days where I just want to reveal him to the world, say or do something to hurt his feelings. But nothing hurts people more than feeling insignificant or worthless, which is what my complete silence and nonreactivity aim to do.
Staying on my white horse worked before and I know it will work again. Love you Natasha xoxo. Natasha- Very insightful and on point. As thoughtful, empathic women I think we hold ourselves to a higher standard; we incorrectly assume that there is something wrong with us when an emotionally bankrupt jerk moves on.
Your blog gives clarity to the fact that we should be treated with the same dignity and respect we gave them. Much gratitude. Glad that the post helped!! Just wow. But thank you. A lot of my anger is mostly with myself — for having betrayed myself and my value so profoundly.
So now, how about a post on how to work through the debilitating self-hatred and shame; and being really hard on yourself for allowing it. And thank you…really…. Love that topic! Thanks for the recommendation Malokinji! Thank you so much for this. I have been healing from a very abusive and narcissistic ex, and this has helped not put so much blame on myself.
I AM enough! I am beautiful! Thank you. Hi Priscilla! You are loved, valued, understood, supported, believed in and never, ever alone. Thank you for being a part of this tribe. Natasha do you know how great you are? You heal me with your words, and this is what helped me today after I beat myself up over my thoughts. You are amazing, thank you with all my heart and soul. It takes one to know one! Thanks Hilda! I have just spent yet another weekend in this place wondering why I miss this relationshit — this is word for word how I feel and behave currently — thank you this page has literally got me through the worst breakup and self discovery ever — I cannot tell you how often in my darkest times I remember to get on my white horse etc…… xxxxxx Amazing.
You are loved, supported, backed, believed in and never alone Carly. Thank you so much. It is difficult as mine snuck right in after being hired to care for my dying spouse. Seemed he did care about me and being vulnerable I overlooked red flags. We stayed friends but now have been discarded and no true explanaton is the hard part.
Left many belongings here and is a very stubborn man as just goes silent on so many people never speaking to them again. Therefore, I do not think I will be hoovered and am debating whether to toss out his stuff. Goes against my being but I do not want to contact him as my phone call to him was the last time we spoke. Am trying hard to let go — was with my husband forty years so am not a spring chicken but would love to have someone in my life again.
Will try to ride on the white horse, accept who he is and try to heal.. Only wish the healing part could happen quicker. Thank you and will pray for all of us. You are loved, supported and never alone. Natasha, thank you for your wisdom. I am fighting through this very thing right now.
I am learning a lot, but I have a lot of recurring thoughts and heartache. How do I stop feeling lost and at fault? I wish that I could advise and answer your questions, but I have too much to say to type it all out not enough hands to type or hours in the day.
Cancer is very emotional, so when a Cancer man misses you it's going to be difficult for him not to show it. The truth is he's more attached to your relationship than he leads on. It might be hard for a Cancer man to express that he misses you verbally, so he will show this through his actions. Does he respond to your texts right away?
Does he offer to help you with simple tasks? Does he take advantage of every opportunity to see you? If so, he misses you. A Leo man shows he misses you by hinting that he wants attention from you. Although this might be done subtly, it's not very difficult to pick up on.
If he asks you why you haven't responded to his text messages all day or why you haven't returned his phone calls, this means he misses you. In fact, he's probably wracking his brain, wondering if you miss him too.
Even though a Virgo man is comfortable around you, he still has a shy nature about him. He's overly critical of himself, so when contemplating whether or not he should tell you how much he misses you, he will shy out of doing it. He might not have the confidence to come right out and say it, but he definitely does. Libra is a very social person and he can't stand being alone, so he probably misses you even more than you miss him.
The great thing about a Libra man is that he values honesty, truth, and fairness. This means that if he misses you, he's going to be straightforward and tell you. No subtweets on social media. He's not one to sugarcoat the truth, so it's important for him to put his feelings on the table. If you miss him, you should be honest and tell him. He'll appreciate it more than you realize.
One of Scorpio's most prominent traits is his passion. In fact, the best way for him to express how he feels is through passionate gestures. Not only will it make him feel great, but it will also let him know that he means a lot to you.
Missing someone can happen the moment you wish they were there with you again. So when your guy asks if you miss him, straight up tell him! You can still say that you missed him just a little. The reasoning behind this is a whole other story. Well it can go both ways. He might just be fishing for some affection from you, and you might be the type to dangle it in front of him before giving in. If this is the game you like to play with each other, this is the perfect response. Remember that when he has jumped through enough hoops to deserve more of your affection, you should also give in eventually!
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